Grandma Marie

I cannot even start to imagine how losing you is going to feel. I already miss you thinking about it. I remember being scared out of my mind when I was coming to meet Toms family for the first time, but you were the most comforting family. I had never known what it was like to have a real grandmother. From day one, you showed my sister and I what it was to have a grandmother. I am so greatful to have had you in my life. I know that you have left imprints on my heart. I have learned so much from you. I wanted to learn more. I am not ready for you to let go. I have never made that fudge. I cant imagine not being able to pick up the phone when I am having a bad day or needing some cooking advice.

I cannot explain why I feel numb at moments, like I am dreaming. You cant be done with this life. I dont want you to go. The only things I think will get me through this are all of the great memories of you and I. You were always there for me for anything. I felt so proud to call you my grandma. Because even though you were not my blood grandmother, there was never a day that I thought anything different.

Nothing in life seems to make sense. I miss the sound of your voice. I dont know how Haley is going to take this. This is going to be devastating. I am not ready, im just not. I hope you knew how much you meant to me.

I have so much to tell you since I have talked to you last. I pulled out my wedding pictures today because we just got our things from our house in Virginia sent here, and I was looking through and found this picture. This is the woman I know. I am so glad I got to share that day with you. Your such a power grandma. You helped with my dress, and one of my bridesmaids dresses. One of the pictures I found had you sitting in the front row... with my mother and your son, RIGHT WHERE YOU BELONG! You will always hold a special place in my heart. It hurts to know you will be gone. Not here anymore. I knew it would happen someday but I just did not want it to happen now. You have left such an imprint on so many people. It is hard to cry about this when I think about how great your life has been, the stories of the trials and amazing things you have done. I could sit and listen to your stories all day. Other time the tears just flow like a waterfall and I cant turn them off. Knowing I may not ever hear your voice again makes me sick to my stomach, but having faith that I will see you in heaven again where there will be no pain and suffering will make this easier. I dont want you to be in pain anymore. If gods plan is not to heal you to the grandma I knew, I would rather him take you in peace to rest than make you go through this. I absolutley dont want you to go. I also dont want to see you go through all of this. I know you have worked so hard to fight this infection with all of your soul, but it is your body that your soul has been given that is giving up. I know your soul has not.

I love and miss you tons and I cant wait to see you again. Go home and I will see you when I get there. Jesus will take care of you because I believe you deserve that. Remember, I will be thinking about you everyday. My life wont be the same. Your loved by so many people, you have touched so many hearts. You have lived a great life. I will NEVER forget your smile. I hope to see you in my dreams, to hold me over until the day I get to see you again. Don't forget I love you grandma.

PS-I will always remind Haley and Mitchell of how

great a person their grandmother was.

Another Move!

Well I will tell you that I am terribly sick of moving. We are now in Indiana, where I started out. Adam just got a good job @ Benteler. I am wanting to get a job but for now I am going to wait until we get a house. Our home in VA has still not sold. I hope that it will sell soon. I am not really enjoying living with my mother. And the other thing is that living in her basement is not really my idea of fun. Its cold and full of our things because there is no room to put anything. But we are getting ready to have a garage sale. Not sure if it will happen but we will see. Not much planned for today. I am going to work out and go with my grandma to Hobby Lobby to decorate her bathroom Adam just redid. I will post pictures if I ever figure out how to. Until next time!!!

Moving yet again!?!

Well it has been fun but we are moving in about 30 days. I am sad to leave my job. I finally start to get the hang of things, get a raise, learn how to get around town and now we have our house on the market. I am a little nervous to know where this year is going to take us.

Day One

Okay...So today is the begining of the whole moving process. It is 8:33am and I have been up since 3:30pm yesterday. Alaska with the whole darkness has messed up my schedule and I cannot get a good nights sleep for the life of me. Anyways...So I am waiting for the moving company to come and pack up this mess of a house. But as soon as I am finished writing this blog I have to unplug the computer! :(

I did talk to my hubby about a laptop, He said it was okay...So now I am just price and quality comparing! So...until then this is the last time I can get online on my desktop computer.

Well I guess I better get going and unplug everything. So until I get a laptop, well I wont be writing until then!

My Ideas

Okay...So I think that I am going to ask the hubby today for a laptop. My great idea is to write everyday of our journey to Virginia. I am not sure if we will have the internet in some places...but I think that it would be neat to post where we are and what happened that day. Plus it will give me something to do other than wanting to kill the dog, or strangle the cats or my husband for that matter.

So for now it is what the 1st of December. So that means the movers come Monday, we close on the house on the 7th. And we will have adams (ALS) Airman Leadership School graduation on the 13th, and the 15th we leave Alaska. Wow it makes me stressed thinking about it. We will survive...HOPEFULLY! But for now I am going to do some scrapbooking, I better do it now because on monday all of our things will be packed up and on its way to Virginia! So...I'll write later!

After Thanksgiving Shopping

So I really thought that I would have woke up early to go fight the crowds! I thought about it but I think the main thing that stopped me was the -10 degree weather stopped me. I would have been one of those mad shoppers pissed at the world...not because they took the last dvd player, but probably because I would have been frozen!

Anyways I waited till the morning rush was over and went to Jo-Anns, I spent about 3 hours shopping for sale scrapbooking things. I am working on two projects...I am making a memo holder for my little sister Haley, which I finished. And I also just got started on the christmas cards. It keeps me busy...There is not that much for me to when I dont have a car. But anyways, I am done complaining for now.

Hectic one!

30 days to go! I am getting very nervous about making this dreaded journey to Haine's Alaska which is 775 miles away through the mountains. I guess the good news is that we sold our house, the bad news is that I am stressing about where we are going to live with the animals until we leave here. We are supposed to close on the 7th of December. The realtor told us we are aiming to close asap...Leave it to him though! TMO does not even move our stuff intil the 5th of December so I am not going to pay rent to the buyer or be kicked out of my home (well technically it will be the buyers home when we close)! That is how awful our realtor is and he probably does not care if we are homeless.

So again stressing because we have not found a house, nor do we want to find a house in Virginia until we get there. We dont want to buy a house that is in the ghetto and have to worry about being killed by gangsta robbers. But still once again I have no idea where we are going once we get to Langley Air Force Base in Virginia because the AF is so weird about making prior arangements to have a home its rediculous!!! AHHHHHH! I feel like screaming!


Reguardless of that my day is boring. I think I am going to organize my scraproom because it looks like a crazy scrapbooking girl has been throwing paper everywhere, Oh wait I have been ;0)